Bloggymoms Writers Workshop Prompt July 18, 2011

“What a Girl Wants”
(Writing prompt from Bloggymoms. I chose the prompt: 24 hours. Enjoy)
Maryanne leaned slowly into the mirror, her breath fogging the glass as she became almost nose to nose with her reflection. She turned her head to the right, her vision becoming crystal clear and seeming to magnify as she stared. She held the pose for a few seconds. Satisfied, she turned her head to the left. She repeated the same intense examination. She faced front again, pulling back slowly. Her eyes scanned the top of her head to the end of her chestnut brown shoulder length hair. The reflection from the light of the restroom gleamed brightly in her freshly colored hair. She touched it, feeling the softness. She wasn’t use to the new color just yet. For most of her life, she had stayed around the blonde tones. Next, she looked at the color of her eyes. A new color for her as well. She worried the colored contacts might shift in her eyes. A mistake she could not afford. She moved her eyes to the left and to the right. She repeated her motion again, only quicker. 
Maryanne pulled out her compact and expertly powdered her face. Her mother had always told her she had a classic beauty which didn’t need any make-up. Make-up only took away from her looks. Maryanne never agreed with her mother completely. Normally, she kept her make-up natural looking but with the recent changes, she had switched to a more bold look. She rather liked it. She was sure her mother wouldn’t. That didn’t really matter now since her mother had long since passed on. 
As she patted her face, she leaned in again. She’d been worried that the underground plastic surgeon would botch up her face. He didn’t seem to have any ability to communicate outside of a series of grunts when Maryanne posed a question to him. When she would try to explain her concerns, he brushed them away with a wave of his hand. Finally, after almost thirty minutes of trying to communicate with him, she gave up. Regardless of the outcome of her surgery, she needed to have it done. As the anesthesia  took effect, Maryanne thought she could smell alcohol on his breath as he leaned over her. 
Pulling out her lipstick, a luscious red, Maryanne thought back to the reason for the recent changes in her life. In her former life, she had been married to an older, wealthy man. It was your classic, younger woman marries older man for his money. She had found him through the obituaries. His wife of forty plus years had succumbed to a battle of cancer. Maryanne jumped on his vulnerability. She enjoyed living the good life, the endless shopping trips, the affairs with the quickly hired and fired help. Yes, life had been good. She just didn’t like sharing his money with him.
For months, she meticulously  planned out the details of her husband’s financial demise. Since he didn’t have any children, it was easy to stockpile his money over time. He trustingly signed any document she placed in front of him. She explained the need for his signature by going all out, pretending she was trying to open a business. She even went as far as hiring key personnel to make it appear real. Since her husband doted on her, he willingly went along with everything she asked. 
Once she was able to get the money she needed, she implemented her second plan. It was customary for Maryanne to take a long cruise by herself every year. She packed her suitcases, as she did every year, made her yearly fuss over missing her elderly husband, and set off to change her appearance. She knew she had two weeks at max before she and the missing money would be noticed. 
Her husband had hugged her, unaware this would be the last time he saw her, as she boarded the train to her next destination. She placed her luggage in the compartment and found the nearest restroom. From her handbag, she pulled out a wig consisting of short, curly hair, placing it expertly on her head. When she was satisfied with the look, she went to the back of the train and stepped off. Her unsuspecting husband had already left. She smiled to herself. Now, when they looked at the video tapes, they would she had entered the train. They wouldn’t realize she’d left. A few days of recuperating from her surgery and she would be off to her new adventure.
More women entered the restroom. Maryanne ran a brush through her glossy hair. A quick spray of expensive perfume. One last quick glance over. A stunning smile set in place, Maryanne turned towards the door. She had already picked out her next wealthy husband. She had much to do in the next twenty-four hours. 

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5 Responses

  1. Ohhhhh… You ARE going to continue this one, right? I really really want to know if Maryanne gets caught. She is so wickedly delicious, I want to hate her but I just can't. What a fantastic job making me care about characters that I would normally despise. You've got me furious with her for playing her husband the way she did, and drooling to know what happens next.My suggestion for you is to read your story to yourself out loud. When you do, pay attention to the words. You've got a couple missing, and its just a simple and easily corrected error, but because we wrote it, we know what to expect so our minds fill the word in. This reads so incredibly smooth, like a real novel! I'm hooked!! More please!

  2. Thanks, Stephanie. I read it to my daughter and she expressed that she wanted to know what happened next. Good idea on reading the story aloud. I know as much as I go back to check for things, I don't always catch them. Thanks for the input!

  3. Yes, I think this one needs to be continued!! So devious! LOVE IT!!

  4. @Chelle, your writing is so captivating. I think you should definitely continue this 'chapter' of a very wicked mystery novel…perhaps? Stephanie has a good point to read sentences aloud.

  5. Ladies, thank you so much for the feedback. It's funny, when I wrote this, I just had in mind to stop with this character. From the responses I've received, I think it would be fun to further Maryanne.

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