A Sad Song

Day 3: A Song That Makes You Cry (or Nearly)

The song that instantly jumps to my mind is:

Christina Aquilera

My introduction to the song came through rather sad circumstances. A friend of mine, “V”, called me on a Sunday, giving me the news her ex-husband had committed suicide just hours before. She was on her way to pick up her daughter, who unfortunately, had called to speak to her dad just moments after he took his life. 

“V”and I spoke several times during the next few days as funeral arrangements were made. In one of our conversations, she told me how she’d encouraged her daughter to play “Hurt” at the funeral. I hadn’t heard the song when she told me. I kept an ear out for it on the radio and when I finally heard it, it ripped my heart out. I wasn’t sure her daughter could handle the song during the funeral. 
There’d been much pain in “V”‘s ex-husband’s life due to a secret he’d kept for so long. I’d been there during  parts of his break downs, supporting “V”, her kids, and her ex. Over time, he began talking to “V” about his secret, started getting help and met the woman he would eventually marry. There’s a part of me, to this day, that doesn’t believe 100% he meant to take his life. 

I watched as his children fell apart at his viewing. His son went down a bad road. His daughter has managed to further her education but self-medicates. And my friend, “V”, she withdrew from me, her other friends, her life, her career and eventually left the state without saying a word to us. 

So when I hear this song, I always think of “V”, her children, and her ex.     


Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you’ve done
Forgive all your mistakes
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won’t admit
Sometimes I just want to hide ’cause it’s you I miss
You know it’s so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I’ve missed you since you’ve been away

Oh, it’s dangerous
It’s so out of line to try to turn back time

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself

By hurting you 


2 Responses

  1. That is a killer song! I'm so very sorry about your friend V and her family. It's my opinion that many really do not intend to end their life…they just want the pain to go away. So, so sad ~Pat

  2. Thank you, Gypsy Heart. I agree with you.

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