BMWW Week of 1-17-2012

This week’s prompt was to write about a Fairy Tale and put ourselves in the place of the character. I put myself in the place of the Evil Queen from Snow White. How would she defend her actions against Snow White? What is the real story? Enjoy!

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Evil Queen. Most of you know I have been unfairly accused of trying to bring harm to the wonderful Miss Snow White. Accused not once but twice. Oh okay, a few hundred times but really, that isn’t the issue. Well, ahem, I suppose it is the issue. However, I am here to clear my good name which is why I have agreed to do this once in a lifetime television interview.

Just for the record, I want everyone in Fairy Tale land to know I took great pains to prepare for today’s interview. I simply demanded that my hair dresser, Pierre, cancel all his appointments to fix my hair into the splendor you see before your very eyes right this second. Here, let me turn so you can see the intricate work of his magical hands. Make sure the camera man gets a good closeup of my hair. See how the light reflects wonderfully off my shiny tresses? Okay, I must turn around now. Getting a crick in my neck from my heavy up do. You, too, can have such shiny locks as mine by simply following the Evil Apple Diet.

Speaking of the Evil Apple Diet. I want to clear up the misunderstanding. I was not, simply was not trying to poison Miss Snow White. I was merely trying to help the poor dear with her dry and split ends. I mean really, you must admit that before she trapped the unsuspecting prince, she was quite hideous. Why I bet she’d never seen the end of scissors on that mop she called a do. So you see, good people, I was only trying to do Miss White a great and selfless favor. Personally, and excuse me as I really do sniff. *Sniff, sniff* Personally, I believe one of those obnoxious little friends of hers is the real culprit. I think in a strange, twisted love triangle, one of them truly wanted me. Couldn’t have me so therefore set me up for attempted murder! How disdainful is that, I ask you good people?

And as far as the huntsman, why, we all know he is nothing more than a drunkard! A drunkard I tell you. He was another one of my many, many, many, many, many, oh so many admirers who became very upset that I wouldn’t have an affair on my husband. I’m not that kind of a woman. Why would I risk losing all this? Have the cameraman show the good people the beauty of my house. Do you see what I have at stake here? Why would I risk all of this to give it up for a drunkard, lowly, huntsman? Okay, swing that camera back this way. Now! Thank you. I wouldn’t. Plain and simple. He, too, conspired against me!

How is my make-up looking? Quick, quick, give me my mirror. It never lies to me. It shows my true beauty. My inner and my outer beauty, of course. Oh yes, I do look quite the vision today, even if I do say so myself. I specially had false lashes of spider legs made for tonight’s appearance. See how they flutter when I blink my eyes. Little spider legs waving in the breeze. Simply an ingenious idea, don’t you think? It’ll be all the rage now that I’ve shared this little secret with you on television.

I know you must all be asking yourselves how I can get such a good look at myself in my special mirror. It does have quite a few cracks in it, doesn’t it? I’ve glued back the pieces I can find but it still works very well, don’t you think? Why do I drop it so much? Oh, because I still haven’t quite adapted to having a mirror which speaks to me and tells me how beautiful I am. More beautiful than any other in this land. To include that lying, conniving Snow White broad. Watch, let me show you.

 Mirror, mirror, who in this great land of Fairy Tales is the fairest of them all? What? Oh, no, I accidentally  dropped my mirror and stomped on it. No, no you did NOT hear the mirror say Snow White’s name. Hmph. You must be insane or extremely deaf if that’s what you think you heard. That’s it! This interview is over. I won’t put up with the likes of you trying to make trouble for me. Where’s my butler? WHERE’S MY BUTLER? Quick, go and fetch the huntsman. I have a job for him………Turn that camera off. Turn it off. Now!”

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8 Responses

  1. I love that you chose the Evil Queen!I also think the idea of her giving an interview gives it a modern twist.

  2. Thanks, Dana. Evilness knows no time boundaries. Lol

  3. I love this. I will admit that the show "once Upon a time" was my inspiration for the prompt, but I love love your portrayal of the Evil Queen here. The ebb and flow is perfection. It's got a sprinkle of humor scattered here and there, tooo.Man, I've missed you. Welcome back!!

  4. I like the different shows they have out now based on the Fairy Tales. It's interesting to see the twists and turns they come up with. I'm glad you liked it.Happy to be back. I've missed hanging out with ya every week. I get your blog through email so I've been quietly lurking about. Lol

  5. Lol @ the evil queen..Thanks sharing this with us..Wishing you a great weekend…

  6. Thanks for stopping by, May. I'm glad you got a chuckle out of it. Enjoy your weekend. 🙂

  7. This is hilarious!! 🙂 Thanks for the laugh. Have a great weekend.

  8. Thank you, Imelda. I'm glad my sense of humor came across in the story. Hope your weekend was wonderful.

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