5 Months, 8 Days, 14 Hours……….

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since I lit up and smoked my last cigarette, according to my handy-dandy QuitIt app. If you’re a former smoker, you understand what the last few months of my life have been like.

It’s hard to believe as a 12-year-old, I thought smoking was oh-so-cool. Now, as a woman turning 45 this year, I regret lighting up that first cigarette. Let me clarify: I DID NOT smoke from 12 until 44. I didn’t  join in as a ‘real smoker’ until I was around 15 or 16. My friends did it. My parents were chain smokers. It was a part of my world for as long as I can remember.

Another thing I remember is getting car sick on long road trips with my parents as they smoked. Looking back, I don’t know why they didn’t crack or roll down the windows during those endless miles. My complaints weren’t met with the obvious reaction. Instead, we’d pull into the nearest rest area so I could get somewhat of a break, as they continued to smoke.

I also remember learning in school,  cigarettes would kill my parents. I rectified that situation by throwing away newly purchased cartons of cigarettes. Problem solved, right? Uh no! More like I ended up in trouble. I was worried about my parents but it was still a time where the Marlboro man was cool and smoking was just the thing to do. My parents weren’t concerned with the years worth of damage  smoking was doing to their health. In fact, my mom ended up on an oxygen machine during the last few years of her life. Ironically, the first time I went over to see her and the new oxygen machine, she was sitting in bed smoking!

I will admit, I was the adult smoker, puffing away, warning the younger generation of the perils of the nicotine addiction. One of my most ironic and sad memories relating to smoking is: A good friend of mine, who use to babysit my daughter, was outside, you guessed it, smoking, when I arrived. I did what any good smoker does and lit up a cigarette to join her. Tears streamed down her face as she delivered the bad news: her grandmother had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. My heart sank and clenched with pain for my friend and her family, even as we both puffed and puffed away. Despite the news, neither one of us thought, it’s time to quit smoking.

Fast forward a few years. My daughter is in elementary school and has asked me to accompany her class on a field trip to one of our state parks. Sure, why not, I think. It’s Spring, the weather is perfect and I’d never been to this particular park. Yeah, lemme tell you. Little did I know her teacher and the teacher she partnered up with were evidently in training for an Olympic type of marathon! Initially, I did give it a good-hearted attempt to keep up with the teachers-determined-to-whip-me-into-shape. I even made sure to keep the stragglers caught up with us. That’s right, I was the BEAST! For the first five minutes.

Then my smoker’s lungs started kicking in. Sweat glands I didn’t know existed made their presence known. Luckily, I’d established with the teachers from hell  I was in charge of the stragglers, so it became easy to slow it on down and walk their pace. No longer was I encouraging them to keep up, I was begging THEM to s-l-o-w down! I can remember at one point where they gave up on me trying to catch up with them. Not only did we finish the walk in 2.5 miliseconds, we also had to wait another 20 something hours for the other classes to arrive at the meeting point. Okay, okay, so I’m exaggerating just a little.

It was at that point I knew I had to quit smoking. There was no reason for me to be in my 30’s and ready to keel over from what should have been an invigorating walk. My mind was made up and I quit. For over 2 years. At least, in the sense that I didn’t buy cigarettes. I didn’t smoke cigarettes. But I never stopped feigning for cigarettes. It was oh-so easy to start back up. I’ll just smoke when: fill-in-the-blank. And then as I became more comfortable with the different allowances to smoke, I was a full-time smoker again.

Now, I am back into the world of not smoking. Again. After another attempt back in August of last year. I went three weeks before I just had to smoke again. I have been wanting to post about  my non-smoking journey that began a few months ago but honestly, I was afraid that I would have given in again. I am trying, no not trying, I am succeeding at being a non-smoker. The first month really didn’t bother me. It’s been the second month going into the third that had me going absolutely bonkers! It was through a newsletter for people who have quit smoking that I read once you get to the third month and haven’t smoked, your chances for remaining a non-smoker increase tremendously. That is what I held onto for dear life as the days from 2 months into 3 months slowed down drastically.

I’m still struggling with the addiction part at times but not so much that I am willing to taint my non-smoking lips and lungs! The app does tell me how much money I’ve saved as well as how my body is healing. Like most smokers who quit,  I have packed on the pounds.  I can’t even say it’s because food tastes so much better. It’s because I want to SMOKE! The next phase of kicking the habit is to turn my eating habits around. I knew I would gain weight and gave myself a time period to substitute one oral fixation for another. Temporarily, that is!  And so the determination continues into another day I can add to my time of kicking the habit. I’m off into the next journey of kicking the jiggly off my belly!

Any addictions you quit? How many times did it take you? What are some words of advice and encouragement you can give the rest of us?

Superstar in the Making!

I can’t say I’ve always been a big fan of iPhones in the sense I absolutely had to have one. My daughter dragged me into more modern times when the Razor was the phone to have. It was time to upgrade and she made me a cool mom by gently threatening me into leaving the clunky flip phone behind. 

The first few days after getting my iPhone, I was somewhat disappointed with the boring means of talking and texting. I was completely unaware of this little thing called Apps. I didn’t want to admit that maybe, just maybe, I’d made a mistake in getting it. 

And then,

 one day! 

I discovered the many, many, many Apps one can find for the iPhone!

I was in paradise. There was no time for working, talking on the phone, texting, eating, sleeping; none of that nonsense. I had Apps to download. Endless choices.
 Free!
 (I’m all about the free)

And then.

One day.

Much to the dismay of my family and friends.

I discovered the Apps in which I could………

SING!!!!!!!!!!!!

For you see, I’m a secret superstar in the making. I am tone deaf. But in order to correct this minor problem, I just sing louder.

 Because the louder I sing, the better I sound to myself. 

The best part??? I have to put my ear buds in when I sing and record my awesome songs! Can you imagine?? 

Me, tone deaf, singing my little heart out?

 Loudly?? 
Over and over?? 

(I have to practice and improve with each recording. No, I’m not offended when my daughter runs into her room screaming, “Please stop.”
 I can ignore the dogs in the neighborhood howling. What do they know?)

Yes, I am a super star in the making. In my own super star-ish world. 

And! Yes, there’s more! 

I, who have NEVER taken a piano lesson in my life, can play amazing songs written by Mozart. Yep, there’s an App for that, too. I get so excited when I download my FREE song of the day. Who cares if I’ve never heard it before!! I play it once or twice and then listen to the recording of how it’s suppose to sound. I tend to like my versions better. Just saying. 

I have promised my friends their own personally-autographed-by-lil-ol-me CD’s for Christmas this year. I know they’re joking when they look scared, panicked, and take on that begging quality of please, don’t. 
I figure, hey, I’m gonna have hata’s. Might as well get thick skinned now!

Yes, the joys of being a superstar.


Know of any Apps  I can use to
 hone my singing skills? 

My family and friends want to thank you in advance!

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